Saturday, September 29, 2007
Where does the time go?
It was about 1:25am before I went to bed last night. Maggie, my youngest, awoke at about 4:20am squalling as if she had been starved for days. I jump up, stumble over this and that and make a bottle, head back to bed, just close my eyes and the alarm is going off and we're running late to get to Sarah's soccer game. Then we eat, turn around twice and the day is almost gone. Where does the time go?
Friday, September 28, 2007
Hurtful Intentions or Just Plain Ignorance?
Here's what I would like to go back and say to those who have repeatedly, in front of my children criticized our decision to keep guidance over our own children's education:
Listen to me. . .
I don't mean smile, nod your head . . . and then politely repeat the same questions and concerns that you have about me homeschooling my children.
Really listen to what I am actually saying about my children and my family and our decision to oversee our children's education.
Look into the local schools statistics, walk into my kids school unannounced and take a look around.
I would love to see schools that were flourishing, with children being encouraged to love learning and come home telling me what a wonderful day they had, and starting every sentence with "Guess what I did today . . . " being so proud of themselves for accomplishing even the smallest task that day.
But, the truth of it is, my kids were in public school. They did come home with that attitude the first few days.
Then, as days, months, and years went by. . . I saw their love of learning grow very dim. It became a much different picture.
My son would actually break down in tears of frustration as soon as he got in the door. And he only had a five minute bus ride. I can't imagine the poor kid that has the 45 minute average bus ride in our district. It would take me a long time to figure out what each situation was. There was usually something that was going on, be it unsupervised playground issues, a question marked wrong, when it was really correct. Or another child punching my child in the stomach for no reason. (we did personally visit that child's home, and worked out the issue)
I would go into his classroom to observe (unannounced). The teachers would all say what a great student Jacob was, how helpful, friendly, bright and he had plenty of friends, he did talk a lot in class, but other than that they loved having him as a student. When I would mention that he was coming home upset and obviously stressed about some situation, they all acted surprised. That was the issue. Jacob was so well behaved in school, and did deal very well with the stressful situations imposed on him at school. Only to break down in the comfort of his own home. Is that what a good education should be? I'm not saying that stress is a bad thing. And many children are simply high strung.
And to address your next few thoughts . . . (these are actual comments I have had people say to me)
"Everyone needs to learn to deal with stress sometime."
Is elementary school (ages 5-11) the time and place to learn how to deal with all the stresses you are going to have in life?
"I went to public school, and I turned out just fine."
I did go to public school, I turned out okay. I would have to say that I didn't exactly enjoy school. I was usually quite bored, and didn't understand the self - drama the other kids created for themselves. But, there was no real harm done, to me that is. I have a few friends that had horrible things done to them in school. Things I couldn't have imagined. I also don't think we had metal detectors or police officers in our school when I went there. We did have a lot of pregnancies. Not, babies, just pregnancies. We had some cute young teachers and older ones who have retired by now. In fact, many of the teachers I had are gone, so are some of the buildings. I wonder what else has changed in my old school? I thought school was like it was when I was there. That's been over 10 yrs ago for high school and 20 for early elementary school.
"Everyone needs to experience bad things, that's how we learn to cope with bad experiences later in life." (mmmmm. . . does someone feel a little sheltered?)
How many grown adults are today on some kind of medication, helping them to cope? Or how many stressed out adults are committing violent crimes or are addicted to legal or illegal substances. Was there not enough stress early in life for them to learn to deal with it?
"All children need to have good teachers and bad teachers in elementary school, or how else will they know how to deal with the variety of teachers they will have in college?"
I had to laugh at this one.
Hey, got a question. . . if a child has some good teachers and some bad teachers, early in education, will they make it to college?"This thought is an interesting one. Although, I think this person doesn't really know my educational philosophy, nor do they care to. To them, since I'm not a licensed educator, I am not qualified to have an educational philosophy. Perhaps, what they meant to say was a kid needs to know how to compensate for inadequate teaching. More simply, you could say they need to be classically educated. Teaching the child how to learn, so they can learn in any environment. This person obviously doesn't realize that my children are taught by many different teachers and in many different settings; Sunday school, grandparents, aunts & uncles, home school co-ops, Internet forums, video classes, private tutors, and small group bible studies.
"It's good for a kid to be placed with their peers. Competition fuels their drive for learning."
Okay, I'm a big fan of competition. I believe you can learn a great deal from competing in an area that you are talented in and well prepared. But does competition fuel the love of learning? First of all when you participate in a competition, you are usually trained for it and spend quite a bit of time and energy focusing on the actual day of competition. And you usually volunteer to sign up for a competition. If you are thrown into a competitive environment, without even knowing that you are competing, not to mention without being trained and well equipped for the competition, will you win? And if you don't know what you are competing for or who you are competing against, how will know that you have won?
Overall, I cannot say that too many events did occur to my own children that could cause me to say that all public schools are bad and that the only way to properly educate your child is to home school. Homeschooling is a personal decision to be made within your immediate family.
I can say, that quite a few events have happened within our local and national schools that have given me much to pray about.
I started out with a heart for homeschooling my child. I did have doubts, so I did put him in school.
I don't regret it, my older two children know what "real school" is like and they have no desire to go back. One of them actually refuses to ever go back. I no longer have my doubts.
The others may never get to go to "real school" and always wonder what it's like. Or we may put them in school one day, life is full of the unexpected. I think that my children are well adjusted enough to attend school if we had to choose that route. They are in group situations quite frequently, without my attendance and I've not heard any complaints of behavior. (So, if it is you that are teaching at those times, and you're not telling me something, speak up!!)
I am held accountable for for my children. What you do with yours is your call. I can only go off of my experiences with my children. I have exposed them to many different situations and observed their reactions. And with each situation I determine if it was a good experience or a bad experience and decide if it is a productive use of their time and energy. I thought that's what a parent is suppose to do? That is why I am puzzled by some of the questions and comments I receive regarding our decision to home school.
I would expect that as a parent, knowing you have a responsibility to God, your child, and society as a whole for your child's character and eventually the adult you have raised, you would investigate and evaluate every situation, especially their formal education, and make the best decision for you and your family.
For those of you who are willing to set aside your personal issues and pray for us as a family and genuinely hope we succeed in the very overwhelming task of raising children, and not sit on the sidelines and wait to say, "I told you so." , I thank you so much for finally taking the time to listen to what we have been trying to tell you. It enriches our lives so much to have you be a part of our lives.
For those of you who still have issues and want to continue to bring them to our attention please read further . . .
If you are offering constructive criticism, with a legitimate suggestion and are offering to contribute to the solution, I would love to converse with you further about our decision to home school. Thank you for the opportunity.
If you are generously offering to invest an unlimited amount of your time, money and energy; and be held financially, legally and socially accountable for the character of my children now and into the future. Also be willing to stand in front of God and explain why you feel more qualified to make these decisions than us, the parents that he gave these children to, I would love to engage in serious conversation with you as to why we home school.
There are those of you who almost always, when given the opportunity, will casually mention, at the most inappropriate times, in conversations with myself or even my children, that you have these overwhelming doubts and fears about homeschooling, and the effect it may or may not have on their future. Even though, you have not really studied the issue in depth, nor have you considered putting yourself in another persons shoes. You base many of your beliefs solely on your own life and your own experiences. I believe the term is egocentric.
And to you I offer this. . . . . .
Just because you personally have doubts and fears about your own ability to parent or to oversee your child's education(if you so desire), please do not impose your feelings and doubts about yourself on me and my family. Where you may have very insecure feelings about your ability to make adequate decisions for your own children, my husband and I do not share these same feelings with you. I will continue to pray for you. And I suggest you do the same. Pray for understanding and compassion for things you cannot understand. God will provide an answer for you, I have done my best, and have failed. But, when I have questions I cannot find the answer to, I take them to God.
I believe that is really all I need to say about that.
Listen to me. . .
I don't mean smile, nod your head . . . and then politely repeat the same questions and concerns that you have about me homeschooling my children.
Really listen to what I am actually saying about my children and my family and our decision to oversee our children's education.
Look into the local schools statistics, walk into my kids school unannounced and take a look around.
I would love to see schools that were flourishing, with children being encouraged to love learning and come home telling me what a wonderful day they had, and starting every sentence with "Guess what I did today . . . " being so proud of themselves for accomplishing even the smallest task that day.
But, the truth of it is, my kids were in public school. They did come home with that attitude the first few days.
Then, as days, months, and years went by. . . I saw their love of learning grow very dim. It became a much different picture.
My son would actually break down in tears of frustration as soon as he got in the door. And he only had a five minute bus ride. I can't imagine the poor kid that has the 45 minute average bus ride in our district. It would take me a long time to figure out what each situation was. There was usually something that was going on, be it unsupervised playground issues, a question marked wrong, when it was really correct. Or another child punching my child in the stomach for no reason. (we did personally visit that child's home, and worked out the issue)
I would go into his classroom to observe (unannounced). The teachers would all say what a great student Jacob was, how helpful, friendly, bright and he had plenty of friends, he did talk a lot in class, but other than that they loved having him as a student. When I would mention that he was coming home upset and obviously stressed about some situation, they all acted surprised. That was the issue. Jacob was so well behaved in school, and did deal very well with the stressful situations imposed on him at school. Only to break down in the comfort of his own home. Is that what a good education should be? I'm not saying that stress is a bad thing. And many children are simply high strung.
And to address your next few thoughts . . . (these are actual comments I have had people say to me)
"Everyone needs to learn to deal with stress sometime."
Is elementary school (ages 5-11) the time and place to learn how to deal with all the stresses you are going to have in life?
"I went to public school, and I turned out just fine."
I did go to public school, I turned out okay. I would have to say that I didn't exactly enjoy school. I was usually quite bored, and didn't understand the self - drama the other kids created for themselves. But, there was no real harm done, to me that is. I have a few friends that had horrible things done to them in school. Things I couldn't have imagined. I also don't think we had metal detectors or police officers in our school when I went there. We did have a lot of pregnancies. Not, babies, just pregnancies. We had some cute young teachers and older ones who have retired by now. In fact, many of the teachers I had are gone, so are some of the buildings. I wonder what else has changed in my old school? I thought school was like it was when I was there. That's been over 10 yrs ago for high school and 20 for early elementary school.
"Everyone needs to experience bad things, that's how we learn to cope with bad experiences later in life." (mmmmm. . . does someone feel a little sheltered?)
How many grown adults are today on some kind of medication, helping them to cope? Or how many stressed out adults are committing violent crimes or are addicted to legal or illegal substances. Was there not enough stress early in life for them to learn to deal with it?
"All children need to have good teachers and bad teachers in elementary school, or how else will they know how to deal with the variety of teachers they will have in college?"
I had to laugh at this one.
Hey, got a question. . . if a child has some good teachers and some bad teachers, early in education, will they make it to college?"This thought is an interesting one. Although, I think this person doesn't really know my educational philosophy, nor do they care to. To them, since I'm not a licensed educator, I am not qualified to have an educational philosophy. Perhaps, what they meant to say was a kid needs to know how to compensate for inadequate teaching. More simply, you could say they need to be classically educated. Teaching the child how to learn, so they can learn in any environment. This person obviously doesn't realize that my children are taught by many different teachers and in many different settings; Sunday school, grandparents, aunts & uncles, home school co-ops, Internet forums, video classes, private tutors, and small group bible studies.
"It's good for a kid to be placed with their peers. Competition fuels their drive for learning."
Okay, I'm a big fan of competition. I believe you can learn a great deal from competing in an area that you are talented in and well prepared. But does competition fuel the love of learning? First of all when you participate in a competition, you are usually trained for it and spend quite a bit of time and energy focusing on the actual day of competition. And you usually volunteer to sign up for a competition. If you are thrown into a competitive environment, without even knowing that you are competing, not to mention without being trained and well equipped for the competition, will you win? And if you don't know what you are competing for or who you are competing against, how will know that you have won?
Overall, I cannot say that too many events did occur to my own children that could cause me to say that all public schools are bad and that the only way to properly educate your child is to home school. Homeschooling is a personal decision to be made within your immediate family.
I can say, that quite a few events have happened within our local and national schools that have given me much to pray about.
I started out with a heart for homeschooling my child. I did have doubts, so I did put him in school.
I don't regret it, my older two children know what "real school" is like and they have no desire to go back. One of them actually refuses to ever go back. I no longer have my doubts.
The others may never get to go to "real school" and always wonder what it's like. Or we may put them in school one day, life is full of the unexpected. I think that my children are well adjusted enough to attend school if we had to choose that route. They are in group situations quite frequently, without my attendance and I've not heard any complaints of behavior. (So, if it is you that are teaching at those times, and you're not telling me something, speak up!!)
I am held accountable for for my children. What you do with yours is your call. I can only go off of my experiences with my children. I have exposed them to many different situations and observed their reactions. And with each situation I determine if it was a good experience or a bad experience and decide if it is a productive use of their time and energy. I thought that's what a parent is suppose to do? That is why I am puzzled by some of the questions and comments I receive regarding our decision to home school.
I would expect that as a parent, knowing you have a responsibility to God, your child, and society as a whole for your child's character and eventually the adult you have raised, you would investigate and evaluate every situation, especially their formal education, and make the best decision for you and your family.
For those of you who are willing to set aside your personal issues and pray for us as a family and genuinely hope we succeed in the very overwhelming task of raising children, and not sit on the sidelines and wait to say, "I told you so." , I thank you so much for finally taking the time to listen to what we have been trying to tell you. It enriches our lives so much to have you be a part of our lives.
For those of you who still have issues and want to continue to bring them to our attention please read further . . .
If you are offering constructive criticism, with a legitimate suggestion and are offering to contribute to the solution, I would love to converse with you further about our decision to home school. Thank you for the opportunity.
If you are generously offering to invest an unlimited amount of your time, money and energy; and be held financially, legally and socially accountable for the character of my children now and into the future. Also be willing to stand in front of God and explain why you feel more qualified to make these decisions than us, the parents that he gave these children to, I would love to engage in serious conversation with you as to why we home school.
There are those of you who almost always, when given the opportunity, will casually mention, at the most inappropriate times, in conversations with myself or even my children, that you have these overwhelming doubts and fears about homeschooling, and the effect it may or may not have on their future. Even though, you have not really studied the issue in depth, nor have you considered putting yourself in another persons shoes. You base many of your beliefs solely on your own life and your own experiences. I believe the term is egocentric.
And to you I offer this. . . . . .
Just because you personally have doubts and fears about your own ability to parent or to oversee your child's education(if you so desire), please do not impose your feelings and doubts about yourself on me and my family. Where you may have very insecure feelings about your ability to make adequate decisions for your own children, my husband and I do not share these same feelings with you. I will continue to pray for you. And I suggest you do the same. Pray for understanding and compassion for things you cannot understand. God will provide an answer for you, I have done my best, and have failed. But, when I have questions I cannot find the answer to, I take them to God.
I believe that is really all I need to say about that.
How can you feel qualified to teach your kids?
Believe it or not, some very close Christian family members have expressed their disaproval of our choice to education our children at home. I felt that others may benefit from these conversations, and it helps me to get it off my chest so I don't explode all over them one day.
The basic agreement among them is that we or should I say "I" am not qualified to properly teach my children anything. This I find extremely funny in some ways, sad in others, and down right furious eventually.
What also is so extremely strange to me, is that they claim that they depend on God for their every decision, and that they would go wherever God would send them, yet they wouldn't dare go to a bar, a bad neighborhood, or befriend anyone who is "unchurched" , yet they want to criticize us for doing what we feel lead to do as Christian parents with our own God given children. They expect us to conform to this world and send our spiritually underdeveloped children out into the public schools with the children of the very parents that were in those bars, bad neighborhoods and who are spiritually starved from lack of true Christians offering any sort of real ministry to those who truly need it. And they expect our children to be the light in a place where even the strongest lights quickly diminish under the deep spiritual void supplied by the heavy social overtones that are built in to every facet of today's American Public School System. And they think we're crazy? Any human being who not only has read the Bible, but claims to believe it and use it to guide their lives would be an idiot to not take their children's education as their own personal responsibility. I'm not saying parents who put their children' in public schools are idiots or half hearted Christians. I am saying that God gave us His Word, His Spirit, Our children and a choice, free will, I believe some call it. I have read, I do believe, and I take my parental responsibility directly from the Bible and I expect to be held accountable for my actions or lack thereof. With this basis is what my husband and I used to make our decisions about every aspect of our family.
I guess what makes this an extremely touchy area for me, is that I just assumed that fellow Christians would at least respect another's calling from God, is one's calling from God more deserving and respectable than another's? Just because ours pertains to our children, does it make it any less of a calling?
The basic agreement among them is that we or should I say "I" am not qualified to properly teach my children anything. This I find extremely funny in some ways, sad in others, and down right furious eventually.
What also is so extremely strange to me, is that they claim that they depend on God for their every decision, and that they would go wherever God would send them, yet they wouldn't dare go to a bar, a bad neighborhood, or befriend anyone who is "unchurched" , yet they want to criticize us for doing what we feel lead to do as Christian parents with our own God given children. They expect us to conform to this world and send our spiritually underdeveloped children out into the public schools with the children of the very parents that were in those bars, bad neighborhoods and who are spiritually starved from lack of true Christians offering any sort of real ministry to those who truly need it. And they expect our children to be the light in a place where even the strongest lights quickly diminish under the deep spiritual void supplied by the heavy social overtones that are built in to every facet of today's American Public School System. And they think we're crazy? Any human being who not only has read the Bible, but claims to believe it and use it to guide their lives would be an idiot to not take their children's education as their own personal responsibility. I'm not saying parents who put their children' in public schools are idiots or half hearted Christians. I am saying that God gave us His Word, His Spirit, Our children and a choice, free will, I believe some call it. I have read, I do believe, and I take my parental responsibility directly from the Bible and I expect to be held accountable for my actions or lack thereof. With this basis is what my husband and I used to make our decisions about every aspect of our family.
I guess what makes this an extremely touchy area for me, is that I just assumed that fellow Christians would at least respect another's calling from God, is one's calling from God more deserving and respectable than another's? Just because ours pertains to our children, does it make it any less of a calling?
Conversations of 3 Homeschool Moms
Today was our Co-Op day!! Which is usually an extremely exhausting day for all of us. I feel I belong to one of the best co-ops out there. (There aren't many where we live, although there is more than their were 8 yrs ago) One thing I really enjoy about going, is we moms usually find the time to chit chat a bit during all the chaos.
I love the families at our co-op. We just have such a great group of diverse, yet like minded families. We have many veteran homeschoolers who already have children in college, and of course some just getting started.
Anyway, today after our lunch time a couple of other moms and I were chatting about how difficult it has been to get some of our kids to do their schoolwork. I was never so glad to partake in a conversation in quite some time. I truly laughed and laughed and laughed. I wasn't laughing at them, I was laughing because I have been having the exact same problem with mine lately. We were discussing our "techniques" of encouraging our children to keep up with their studies. We were glad to find that we shared some of the same thoughts and tactics .
It does take a toll on a homeschool mom when her kids just don't feel like doing school that day, or maybe that week.
One of the ways I combat this problem with my kids is we technically "school" all year. So this allows us to take quite a few mini breaks. It has seemed to work well for our family.
I try to keep up with math, even if it isn't on paper. I usually let them help with various projects that would require math skills. Cooking, building projects, grocery shopping. But we do chuck the books aside and go off on little mini field trips.
We do History at dinner time. We have our timeline along the dinning room wall and we review it and move on a little each time we sit down for a meal. This also gives me time while everyone else at least sits in one spot for a minute or two, to get all the food on the table, feed the baby and take a few bites for myself now and then. We use the Mystery of History which I love!
I love the families at our co-op. We just have such a great group of diverse, yet like minded families. We have many veteran homeschoolers who already have children in college, and of course some just getting started.
Anyway, today after our lunch time a couple of other moms and I were chatting about how difficult it has been to get some of our kids to do their schoolwork. I was never so glad to partake in a conversation in quite some time. I truly laughed and laughed and laughed. I wasn't laughing at them, I was laughing because I have been having the exact same problem with mine lately. We were discussing our "techniques" of encouraging our children to keep up with their studies. We were glad to find that we shared some of the same thoughts and tactics .
It does take a toll on a homeschool mom when her kids just don't feel like doing school that day, or maybe that week.
One of the ways I combat this problem with my kids is we technically "school" all year. So this allows us to take quite a few mini breaks. It has seemed to work well for our family.
I try to keep up with math, even if it isn't on paper. I usually let them help with various projects that would require math skills. Cooking, building projects, grocery shopping. But we do chuck the books aside and go off on little mini field trips.
We do History at dinner time. We have our timeline along the dinning room wall and we review it and move on a little each time we sit down for a meal. This also gives me time while everyone else at least sits in one spot for a minute or two, to get all the food on the table, feed the baby and take a few bites for myself now and then. We use the Mystery of History which I love!
Charlotte Mason Style of Education
At first this style of education was very overwhelming to me, but, after a few years into it, things became much more clear.
This site is worth checking out.
http://www.charlottemason.com/
This site is worth checking out.
http://www.charlottemason.com/
Christian Logic
Here is a great link to a site regarding Christian Logic - and some recommended resources.
http://www.christianlogic.com/articles/suggested_course_of_study_for_logic.htm
I really like their stuff.
http://www.christianlogic.com/articles/suggested_course_of_study_for_logic.htm
I really like their stuff.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Introduction
Welcome to my blog, my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings. Homeschooling five children provides for plenty of "bloggable" moments. Much of this blog will be about our homeschool adventures. I feel you cannot separate learning or education from life. I cannot comprehend why a parent would choose to do so.
I have many reasons why I am writing this blog. One of them is because people consistantly ask me "How do you do it?" And I usually respond "Do what?" And they inevitably ask me a question pertaining to my children.
This blog is not intended to brag, although I am quite proud of my children, I cannot take complete credit for why they are the way they are.
There are many things contributing to the successes and failures of my children. For the failures I take complete responsibility, for the successes I owe completely to God. He gave me my children, for a time. They are ultimately His. He only entrusted their early years on this earth to me. He felt I would be the the best mother for them. If not, he would have given them a different mom.
I feel it is important to readers that they understand my point of view. If you aren't Christian, you will probably not enjoy reading this blog.
With all that being said, let me introduce myself:
My name is Jane and I am the mom of five children. Their ages are 11, 8, 6, 3, and 6 months.
Ever since I was expecting my first child I have been almost obsessed about early childhood education. My husband wishes he could have just $1 for every book I have read on the subject and just a penny for every "educational" toy I've bought. He swears we'd be millionaires.
Over the past 10 years I have read and researched many "professional" opinions when it comes to raising and educating my children. I don't feel that I am an expert, but, after five kids I would say I do have enough experience to form an educated opinion.
Feel free to post your opinions and ideas. I don't mind a good discussion with someone who agrees or disagrees with my ideas and opinions. Of course I hope we all can play nice together. :) I respect anyone who has personal experience and/or who have gone to great lengths to understand why they believe what they believe.
I look at every experience as an opportunity to learn. I look forward to hearing from everyone.
I have many reasons why I am writing this blog. One of them is because people consistantly ask me "How do you do it?" And I usually respond "Do what?" And they inevitably ask me a question pertaining to my children.
This blog is not intended to brag, although I am quite proud of my children, I cannot take complete credit for why they are the way they are.
There are many things contributing to the successes and failures of my children. For the failures I take complete responsibility, for the successes I owe completely to God. He gave me my children, for a time. They are ultimately His. He only entrusted their early years on this earth to me. He felt I would be the the best mother for them. If not, he would have given them a different mom.
I feel it is important to readers that they understand my point of view. If you aren't Christian, you will probably not enjoy reading this blog.
With all that being said, let me introduce myself:
My name is Jane and I am the mom of five children. Their ages are 11, 8, 6, 3, and 6 months.
Ever since I was expecting my first child I have been almost obsessed about early childhood education. My husband wishes he could have just $1 for every book I have read on the subject and just a penny for every "educational" toy I've bought. He swears we'd be millionaires.
Over the past 10 years I have read and researched many "professional" opinions when it comes to raising and educating my children. I don't feel that I am an expert, but, after five kids I would say I do have enough experience to form an educated opinion.
Feel free to post your opinions and ideas. I don't mind a good discussion with someone who agrees or disagrees with my ideas and opinions. Of course I hope we all can play nice together. :) I respect anyone who has personal experience and/or who have gone to great lengths to understand why they believe what they believe.
I look at every experience as an opportunity to learn. I look forward to hearing from everyone.
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